faded memories
by AshPhaux
Summary: Faleil never guessed or knew about being a witch but Severus knew her a life time ago when he was a deatheater.Or at least the soul. but her soul was never really lost that night just displaced and now she returns.
1. Prologue

=-= Thanks to my opinionists greatly! But as a good ideas come along you'll find this story much greatly redone. Sorry but hey what can I say...only thank you. This story contains graphic depiction's of death. defiantly not for the squeamish! and defiantly not what Rowling ever expected her characters to do...it's a fan fic gruesome but hey I'm sure your all big boys and girls now, watching TV is much worse!=-= ::-Standard disclaimer applies. All Harry Potter characters are property of Scholastic books and J.K Rowling. -::  
  
  
  
Prologue: So long ago...  
  
Severus Snape found himself staring at the entrance to a dark and menacing looking alley. He knew exactly what was about to happen on this night. He clutched his torn robes to try to shut out the cold, biting wind that penetrated them so easily. Trudging on further in to what he perceived as an earthly hell he knew what he had to do. If only for the sake of sparing a fellow wizard or witch the cruciatus spell and imminent death later.   
  
This is how his master, Voldemort wanted him to prove his loyalty to the Deatheaters,by taking the life they had set for him at the end of the alley. He knew he had to do it to gain what he so wanted in life and no one was going to stop him. Walking down the alley, his boots scraping over the cobblestone street was the only thing he heard, aside from his own racing heartbeat and quickening breath. Taking out the sword that Voldemort had given him to use instead of his wand now felt like it weighed a ton. The black metal reflecting darkly the moonlight. He looked at the ornately made hilt with the deepest reddest blood ruby he had ever seen in his short life glow as if it were alive and awaiting it's meal. He saluted quickly in honor of his new master and trudged on each step taking him closer to his prey.   
  
Tied to an offering post the robed figured stood. As he got closer he seen the blindfold and the gag in place and almost sighed in relief. At least they would not see the devilish looking blade coming to taste their hot blood, nor would they see the boy that held it, making him feel guilty beyond a doubt. He walked closer, gauging the fear of the female that was about to be spared. Voldemort told him it was a Mudblood who so foolishly called his attention and asked a simple question. He narrowed his eyes, oh how he hated muggles and mudbloods. When he was smaller and was forced in to their world they taunted him ,relentlessly beat him till he was bloody and broken in a gutter ,and stole from him his meager possesions,keep sakes of his mother...oh how this revenge would be ever so sweet. He brought the blade tip and carefully touched her cheek with it drawing a small dot of blood. Like a rabbit caught by the hawk she froze and whimpered.   
  
Severus knew if she hadn't the gag, she would be begging for her life. fortunately she did have it or he could have lost his nerve. He smiled at the power he felt as he watched her trying to pull away from the sword. He loved it, just as Voldemort had said he would. Growing more bold he stepped forward and reached out to caress her cheek. She tossed her head as if his touch were like a hot brand. He laughed and grabbed her throat and squeezed viciously Oh how Voldemort would be proud of him. Watching as she fought to breathe or at least break his grip she tried in vain to pull away. He only smiled and let her go she coughed and sputtered through her gag trying to spit it out to get a good lungful of air. With only a shred of human compassion he decided to end her suffering. He took careful aim and placed the blade tip to where her heart lay. Feeling the cold steel penetrate,invading her skin the female began a new frenzied struggle to get away she started to scream through the gag, her tears glinting in the moonlight like liquid diamond.   
  
Suddenly the rest of his DeathEater brothers and sisters appeared soundlessly to witness their newest members initiation. Even Voldemort who stood in the center of the group watched in anticipation. Getting the courage he unmercifully ripped the gag off the girl. She begged for mercy,her voice hoarse and raw sounding. He had already pushed the blade almost two inches in to the girls chest. Far too in shock to do anything but gasp like a fish out of water he watched her mouth open and close. Suddenly he snarled and brutally forced the blade all the way through her body. She screamed out in pain.  
  
He smiled as he felt a few warm droplets splatter on his cheek, he grinned wildly as the scream only the dying could produce rung in his ears. At last he was a fully fledged Deatheater! As a DeathEater he could take more revenge on those who had hurt him, even if they had never seen him before. He held the power to make sure his parents rested in peace now. This girl was going to be the first among hundreds and perhaps hundreds of thousands He belonged to the DeathEaters,and he vowed to follow Voldemort to see his goals and ideals succeed with out trouble. Looking at the now dying girl he decided to show her the moon one last time. He ripped away the blindfold and forced her head up,almost snapping her neck in the process he forced her to look at the moon. She did, she had enough strength to keep her head up and gaze for the last time mouthing inaudible words to the moon. Severus only narrowed his eyes and ripped the blade from her chest. In the pale moonlight he seen her life blood gush from the wound for a second. He looked at the blade and seen the dark blood drip to the cobblestone street. Her blood, she collapsed to the ground the last of her blood soaking in to her robes This mudblood was no more.  
  
Voldemort Walked up behind him, as he stared at the now chilled blood. He whispered to Severus in a fatherly tone "Well done my boy, well done...one day you might be one of my hands..."Turning to the rest of the DeathEaters Voldemort roared in triumph and announced loudly "ON TO THE BLOODING FEAST!" And the crowd of DeathEaters crowded around the young Severus clapping him on the back,shaking his hand,gazing at the still bloody sword and ushering him back out the way he came. innocently unaware of what he had truly done. 


	2. Rememberance

=-=: Standard disclaimers apply.=-=  
::- Again thanks once again to my opinionists, you know who you are. Thanks Please be patient...Other chapters are coming ASAP Life goes on, people change...stories always come on their own! Please be patient with me thank you -::  
  
  
A time of rememberance  
  
  
Severus Awoke abruptly trying to beat the dream away with his bare hands. Again it was the same dream he closed his eyes in pain and wiped at his brow with the back of his hand. He shivered at the memory and finally was aware that he was still in his chambers at Hogwarts school. He sighed deeply and glanced over at the crystal time ball. It was early morning for him. Pulling the covers over his chilled skin he rested his arm over his eyes. His thoughts raced around his head like some psychotic out of control pendulum. He shivered uncontrollably for a moment at the thought of his initiation to the DeathEaters. It was so long ago that it seemed almost surreal to him. But the muscles in his hands remembered the weight and the feel of the beautiful,yet foul sword.Sometimes they itched to feel the blade back in his hands. Even his thoughts turned rebellious and forced him to relive the torture of the girl. Voldemort told him she was a mudblood and he believed him The feel of the blade pushing,and tearing her flesh. His ears ringing with that horrid death scream. Quickly he got out of bed and wrapped his dressing robe around him. This was one memory that he hadn't wanted to relive, Other memories were tolerable but this one, this was the one that really destroyed his faith in Voldemort...All because she had wanted to love him. Sighing he quickly showered and dressed, sleep no longer an option nor sitting in his chambers he had to get out.   
  
Sverus roamed the halls trying to blot out the dreams that triggered the locked gate of his memories to break wide open. Today was going to be a long day,but fortunately no students were here to make it far worse. He found himself walking the rather long hall of windows. He stopped at one and gazed out at the moon. It was the same moon from that night. He remembered forcing her to look at it before her life extinguished. He remembered her mouthing her last inaudible prayer. Mudbloods whom had muggles for parents usually had only one icon to put their faith in. He only assumed that was whom she was invoking. He wished savagely that he hadn't been so stupid in his youth. His only redemption he had ever received was her.   
  
'Falaliel...' his voice going deeper with emotion as he gazed at the moon. Imagining her face in the moon, seeing her smile,and hearing her laugh again. Quickly Severus shook his head to do his best to remove himself from such painful memories. 'they do me no good...' He rested both his hands on the open window and stared over the edge.'She is gone...' he whispered barely seeing the wind swaying the trees below, fortunately he felt none of it. The hall of windows was spelled to keep out the natural forces,yet giving the visitor optimal open viewing and comfort to the stars. Quickly turning from the beautiful scenery to stare at the stone floor. He sighed again and decided to occupy his mind so he wouldn't remember. He started back to his dungeons to begin work on Poppy Pomfrey's cure-all potion,to which she had told him she was beginning running low amongst other potions as well but this one was second to the last and he could start the final one after dinner. Smirking to himself he joked about her in his mind ' Poppy's idea of running low is if the beaker is only half empty...' Arriving at the potions classroom he spoke the password 'Obsidian Saturn' and heard the audible click of the lock mechanism open. He entered and stood at the threshold for but a moment. He glanced around and headed to the supply room to get the ingredients and to start the preparation work before he could even start the potion itself.  
  
Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk sucking thoughtfully on a lemon drop. He wasn't doing much just reading the latest issue of the Daily Prophet. Things were almost the same,except when he found a rather interesting article. 'NEW DEATHEATER BASED CULT ATTACK!' screamed the headline. Albus raised an eyebrow and looked mildly surprised. He read on finding out that this new DeathEater band was a little odd. They had been spotted in the countryside. What was even more puzzling, they seemed to ride transfigured horses and were silent. Those who survived reported that when this band swept down on them, they had no warning at all. The only thing heard was that of the horses charging. It was also reported that these riders didn't speak,not even to issue warnings or orders but knew exactly what to do.   
  
He sighed and sat back in his chair. He reached over and picked up his quill and pulled a piece of parchment from his desk.He began a letter to one of his long time friends and one of his trusted informants. It didn't take long at all he summoned one of his most used owls as it flew through his window and landed before him just as he had sealed the letter with his special seal and wax the owl hooted at him and waited. Albus looked up and smiled. "Ahh yes thank you for coming friend...Are you ready?" The owl hooted and extended his leg as Albus tied the letter to it . The owl feeling the magic from the sealing wax hooted in question and figured out he was going to be polymorphed in a moment to a new form. "I'm sorry but this is delicate work, I have no choice would you prefer the form of a raven?" The owl blinked and hooted. A matter of moments and a puff of gray smoke the new form flapped it's great wings clearing the smoke. The raven cawed at Albus and lighted on his shoulder. Taking him to the window he spoke softly "you know where to go yes?" the raven cawed and took to wing out in the clear predawn sky. 'gods speed...' He thought silently as he watched till the bird could no longer be seen.  
  
Severus Stifled a yawn as he absent mindedly browsed through a potions journal only published a week ago. He couldn't concentrate on the reading for the writer obviously was of the overly dry and very boring type. 'I would think that even Mr.LongBottom could produce a better article than this...And be more interesting by far...' Growing tired of the reading he tossed the journal on to the table and stood. He stretched and heard the ligaments in his shoulders and back snap slightly as they became limber again. He walked over to the cauldron and checked the consistency of the potion. 'not long now...about a half hours more simmering' He couldn't do much more than stand and lean against a nearby table and stare at the flames. He rubbed the stiffness out of his neck and began to walk towards his office.   
  
He sat down heavily in his chair and just stared off in space. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep, and it was showing most annoyingly in his face, that scowling couldn't help cover up. Getting comfortable for a few moments longer before he was to check the potion again and let it cool before he stored it. It gave him more time to think about Falaliel. Gladly the more happier thoughts of her came instead of the dream induced horrors of joining the DeathEaters. He almost smiled as he thought of how they first met. and how they interacted with one another every single day for almost their entire seven years at Hogwarts. Till she introduced him to her parents, that's when it became clear that they had no liking for him and wished that Falaliel had chosen differently. Even her sisters were against him and constantly tormented him when Falaliel wasn't around, But she could read him as if his emotions were worn on his sleeve. How she demanded that her sisters apologize when she found out. The youngest of 4, she quickly learned how to be the toughest one, he loved that about her.  
  
He began to hate them slowly except for her.Nothing good ever happened to him when muggles were involved. He silently made the vow that he would get revenge on muggles that married wizards...Except for her.He kept it all silent from his then best friend and companion. As they reached the final two years, when Voldemort started to form his DeathEaters Falaleil and himself became more than friends, they forged a relationship that was far too strong for her family to break. She trusted him much more than she did her family. The evening of the last day of school they sat together holding hands gazing at the stars. Severus smiled at her and kissed her. "I love you Falaleil..." he whispered in her ear and smiled when she rested against him. He warmly put his arms around her and heard her sigh as she held his hand " I love you too SeverusMy Slytherin love."   
  
"The chuckle that reverberated from his chest at this. Who would have ever thought that a Slytherin and a Gryffindor could find and make a lasting relationship?" he whispered the empty room. Again he sighed and stood up he checked the potion and found it was the right time to extinguish the flame and let it cool to it's usable color. He checked the small portable crystal time ball he carried with him it was Breakfast in the great hall and he felt ready for some human presence, instead of the comfortable loneliness he was used to. He walked the way leaving the everything as it was.  
  
Minerva Mcgonagall sat at the table and looked at her breakfast. Today was just another day. But what worried her was the fact that Dumbledor had showed her the article in the Daily Prophet. A new kind of DeathEaters were forming? She was hardly believing what was stated there. Of course she had spoken privately with Albus about if there had been something more deeper to this matter. Not even he could say. And that was bothering her more than the threat of a new breed of DeathEater. Of course her being his head deputy at Hogwarts, it entitled her information that wasn't normally passed around in the first go. She felt someone one sit next to her and it brought her back from her thoughts. She looked over and was surprised to Severus. He glanced over at her and gave her a nod in greeting. Usually it was rare to see him here for breakfast, he usually had it in his chambers...but then she remembered that there were no students here yet to wear his nerves down. It simply amazed Minerva that he was so different when students were around than when they weren't. He was almost sociable "Good morning Severus..." She spoke softly, weighing her words carefully with him. She almost dropped her goblet when he replied. "good morning to you as well Minerva." She looked at him for a moment to recover from her shock. He was looking at her, his jet black eyes fixed on her with a raised eyebrow. His smooth voice once again cutting in to her senses "Is something wrong Minerva?" he asked and she shook her head quickly "n-no Severus...Just that I wasn't expecting you to answer...is..all" She bowed her head and blushed lightly.   
  
Severus wasn't expecting that at all. He knew when his nerves were overtaxed,that it made him in to a complete ill tempered dragon. But her reaction to him being so social had taken her by surprise. He hadn't wanted her to feel as if he was a monster all the time. He did something rather rare and placed his long tapered fingered hand lightly on hers to make her look at him. Needlessly to say that it worked. The shock she couldn't hide as she sputtered "S-Severus" Before she could make herself out to be the fool Severus quickly whispered to her "Minerva, I'm not usually a cold monster, it's complicated for me to tell you but I'm not the anti social hermit of a potions master either. I just don't respond well to acts of kindness,and children." And he leaned back in his chair. About to remove his hand from it's current resting place, another act that he wasn't familiar with that caught him by surprise, Minerva had turned her palm up and wrapped her fingers around his hand and squeezed gently in acknowledgment of what he had said and released his hand. All he could think of was 'her hand is warm...'   
  
Albus seen briefly the connection between his colleagues and tried not to smile. Though Severus was seeming to be a bit more relaxed at the moment. He knew that would change once term started. Severus didn't care too much for being surrounded by students for a term. What made it even more apparent that he chose to be so demanding and cruel, but Albus knew the reason why. Why Severus was a perfectionist to heart when it came to teaching potions. He reminded himself that he needed to meet with Severus before the term started. Naturally Albus knew the outcome already, but he wanted to make sure there were no snarls that would make one of his colleagues uncomfortable or angry. He turned to his breakfast and began to eat heartily, engaging in a conversation with madam hooch on the topic of this seasons Qudditch teams.  
  
The rest of day had gone reasonably calm. Nothing too eventful happened other than Mrs.Norris snooping around the open door to his classroom and leaping up on to the rim of the cauldron to peer inside to see if the contents were edible. Mrs. Norris had taken a liking for chewing on Severus's supply of wormwood. Last time he almost cast the petrifaction spell on her when she decided to raid the supply cupboard. He wanted to make sure the cat wasn't just curious because she had never been in the classroom or what. But he soon found out the answer. Silently walking up behind Mrs. Norris who had just taken a sizable chunk of the wormwood he had just prepared and spoke in his coldest, student frightening voice "So Mrs.NorrisYou like chewing on my supply of wormwood is it?" The cat spun around and arched her back in reflex and hissed, dropping the wormwood in to the cauldron. Severus barely had time to widen his eyes in fear as the explosion rocked the classroom. He was about to do his best to protect himself from the hot adulterated potion . He moved to sweep his robes around himself and felt the cat leap in to his arms and her claws sink in to his chest.The force of the explosion had knocked Severus to the floor rendering him unconscious for a few minutes. Mrs.Norris took this perfect opportunity to make her escape, knowing all too well she would be punished by Severus if he caught her. Before she left she couldn't resist, she leapt up again on the work table and snatched another chunk of wormwood and ran out the door.  
  
He opened his eyes slowly. He tried to remember how he had fallen. His chest felt as if the skin had been ripped to shreds. Severus sat up slowly and looked around, He narrowed his eyes at the still steaming cauldron and the memory of catching Filtch's cat stealing his wormwood. "That BLASTED cat..." he snarled and stood up looking at the damage. He took out his wand from it's place from the sleeve of his robe and cleaned up most of the potion. Fortunately it wasn't anything that was harmful while still in it's preparation stage. He sighed and silently vowed that if he even seen Mrs.Noris the cat was going to find herself dunked in the lake,or nearest bucket of ice water. He sighed and started all over. He gathered fresh ingredients so as not to contaminate the potion with cat hair.  
  
What seemed several hours later he could finally look over to the bubbling cauldron to check the consistency of this potion. Again he was tempted to read the Potions journal, but decided against it, he hadn't wanted to fall asleep while brewing this potion, otherwise he'd have to start all over yet again. So he sat in his chair and pondered some more.forgotten book sat in his lap he stared blankly on to it's hand written pages but nothing registered in his brain about the contents. as he sat there his mind far away he hadn't heard the little fledgling owl hoot at him from the crown of his chair.   
  
The little owl hopped up and down a little annoyed that she wasn't being paid attention to. When she suddenly hopped on to his shoulder and nipped lightly on his ear lobe. Severus turned his tunnel like eyes and furrowed his brow for a moment before he realized that it was a messenger owl. He blinked and answered in a soft apologetic tone "I'm sorry little one..." The owl only nipped his ear again in affection and extended her leg for him to untie the neatly rolled tube of parchment. He did so and a faint smile spread across his face. This was one of the newer hatchlings who hadn't yet been taught that he was the mean one. He conjured up a small bar of chocolate and broke it to pieces. This owl had always been sent to Him by Dumbledor and she had taken to him as if they had been meant to find each other. Severus always found it amusing that any intelligent living creature could love him so unabashedly. He smiled and spoke again "thank you little one, perhaps one day someone will give you a name...had you been mine i most certainly would have called you..." He stopped for a moment and smiled as the little owl rubbed her soft feathers against his cheek, urging him to finish "I would have called you glain" Again the owl hopped up and down on his shoulder in agreement. Quickly he thanked her and before she left he offered her a bit of the chocolate "would you like some?" as he offered the morsel . She stretched her wings and folded them and bent forward, daintily taking the morsel of chocolate and ate it just as daintily. "While you are enjoying that let me read your message.." He recognized the ornate hand writing immediately as Albus's.  
  
"Dear Severus, I didn't see you at dinner this evening, everything alright? I sincerely hope so, if you please, will you meet with me at your convienice in my chambers?  
Albus"  
  
Quickly he turned over the parchment and wrote his reply  
  
"Albus, Of course I'll join you in half hours time.  
-Severus"  
  
The little owl finished her snack and hooted softly to him and hopped down to the table as rolled the parchment up again. She extended her leg again so he could attach t with the thin piece of leather magicked to tie it's self to the howls comfort. Again she hooted and he tenderly stroked the soft feathers and she nipped his fingers in affection "thank you again little one.." And she took to wing leaving his office the same way she entered. Checking the potion he was quite surprised at Dumbledor's timing. The potion was at the stage where it now needed to cool to reach it's proper color and consistency. Rubbing his eyes he luxuriously stretched and took his wand from his sleeve and extinguished the flames. He checked to see that nothing else needed to be cleaned up or stoppered or to be put away. He nodded as he took a finally look around, everything was in order to his satisfaction.   
  
He removed his heavier, outdoor shoes and replaced them with lighter black cloth and soft deer hide soles indoor shoes. He grimaced once at the memory of when a cauldron foot was set on his large toe. Nearly breaking it while he wore indoor shoes. Fortunately for him he was still going to hogwarts when the incident happened. as he finished he decided to walk to Albus's chambers, he felt the tightness in his leg muscles and wanted to stretch them a bit and the walk was just the thing. He shrugged off the canvas work robes and put on his everyday robe he walked out the door, his locking wards falling in to place, he checked them to make sure the door was locked out of sheer habit and walked down the corridor. He walked through the Slytherin part of the school and soon found himself taking the long way, again through the hall of windows. It would be far too pointless to stop and go another way so he trudged on, taking his time to look at the beautiful evening sky, just minutes after the sun had set. He winced as he realized that he was so engrossed in his work that he hadn't even taken a break from it till now.   
  
Quickly he made his way to Dumbledor's chambers, passing no one on the way. He tapped on the heavy,carved oakwood door and waited to be admitted. In a matter of second he was, The door opened by it's self and Severus quickly entered. "Good evening, Professor," Dumbledor spoke warmly without looking at him. Severus looked puzzled for a moment, and he realized that Dumbledor wanted to get school matters out of the way first before the pleasantries. "good evening Headmaster" Severus said smoothly and walked towards the fire. He waited as Albus ushered him to the chair next to him and waited till he got comfortable. "I hope I have not torn you away at a critical moment, professor..." Albus looked at him with a slightly raised eyebrow and Severus merely shook his head, " Your timing is impeccable headmaster...it was at the stage were it needed to cool to reach it's proper consistency..." Albus chuckled a bit " ahhh yes, seems I do have a knack for getting people at the right time..." Severus merely raised an eyebrow and templed his fingers in thought.   
  
"before we get to anything else professor, I would like to ask if you wish the position for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Severus wasn't too surprised at this and pretended to really be thinking this over. After a few minutes of silence he spoke rather gravely for the subject. "No Headmaster, The Just for the Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't what I wish to do this year..." Severus didn't need to look at the older man at all. This had been done many times just before the start of the new term. And always Severus had turned the job down. He finished with a soft edge in his voice "Perhaps when I can no longer properly prepare the ingredients for simple potions. Though D.A.T.D.A is another qualification of mine, it isn't my true calling...sir" He added softly and relaxed in the chair a little bit.   
  
Albus stared in to the flames, his own thoughts racing around in his head. He listened to Severus as he did many times before. Severus had never changed the speech he had used to formally reject the job offer. Albus simply stated in a cheery voice " As usually Severus, You turn down the job, yet you let the rest of the faculty and students think that it's that particular job you wait for, ready to pounce on." At this Severus almost choked on his chuckling. "Yes very true Albus, I have my reasons...after all no student should ever be able to get on more friendlier terms with other professors...I believe they should learn not curry favor from the faculty." Albus merely smiled and finally looked at him "You know Severus...you truly are an enigma. I think some of the student body would faint had they the chance to see you like this." Severus snorted " Only some Albus? I think the whole school would be sitting in Poppy's hospital wing waiting to be treated for severe shock." Albus didn't say anything but Severus simply stated in the matter of factly tone "I don't mind being the monster, it makes the students learn, fear has it's uses...if only to open the minds of those who look for the easy way..."   
  
"I agree Severus, if I didn't you would have known about it..." " I know.." was all he said, not once look at Albus, trying desperately to hide the darkening circles under his eyes. This past week was hard on him. Being awoken each night by the one reoccurring dream, the night he coldly murdered the one person who he would have loved...Falaliel...  
  
"Severus?" Albus asked out in concern and suddenly Severus's attention was snapped back to reality " I'm sorry?" " It was nothing Severus, I just asked if you cared for something to drink...perhaps a fine scotch?" Severus merely nodded and a small table with a decanter and two rocks glasses appeared between their chairs. Albus didn't even need to use his wand, the serving set had already been spelled to pour it's self. Noticing that Severus was locked in his own thoughts, they both stared in to the fire for several minutes, he knew Severus would speak when he was ready. It was just a small matter of time.   
  
Severus relaxed more than he meant to. He hadn't any hunger at dinner so the alcohol was fast acting in his bloodstream. It started of with a softly asked question " You remember Falaliel don't you Albus?" replying " You mean Falaliel Abelrard?..Ahh yes I do remember her in fact...sweet girl though we never did the chance to talk that much....why do you ask?" Knocking back the rest of the fiery liquid, Severus told him of the dream that plagued him. He didn't want to say her name too loudly. As if merely him saying it would guide her spirit back to haunt him. Severus Had placed his cup back on to the table and watched as the decanter refilled it for him. It was hard, but Severus felt it needed to be said otherwise the grim alternative was no sleep and an exhausted dull mind when term started.  
  
Dumbledor listened to his friend intently, not once interrupting. He felt this emotional release was much needed on his part, Albus had no idea that Falaleil had followed Severus in to the deatheaters, Nor did her know that it was Severus that had ended her life. When they had found the poor girls body, it had been desecrated. Garbage and other unnamable filth covered her from head to toe. Of course Albus remembered this grisly scene, he was one of the Aurors that had been sent to investigate a potential Deatheater 'Blooding' ceremony. Of course he also remembered that there was a couple of aurors that were deemed 'special operations and suppression' by their badges pinned to their dark vermilion cloaks. They spirited the body away saying they had higher orders an no one stopped them...everyone knew these special aurors weren't to be messed with. None knew the identity of the body, but since it was in others hands it was quickly dismissed. No one asked questions later...Albus could only wonder if that body was Falaliel Abelrard.  
  
The two men drank together, reminisced, and talked way in to the morning Through his drunken haze, Severus head the chimes of the Wizarding clock and noted the time. Forgetting he had set the rocks glass on his knee he bolted up and hurriedly made his excuses. He apologized profusely about the glass and Albus merely smiled and ushered Severus out the door with an offer of walking him back. Severus admandiantly refused and tried his best to walk. Not even filtch would be out this early in the morning Albus watched his friend stagger out the door and down the hallways. Knowing he would be fine, as long as peeves stayed away from Severus.  
  
Walking back to the chair Albus looked at the broken glass and intently studied the reflection of the flames dance on the sharp points. He only smiled and drew out his wand. new glass appeared and the decanter set vanished, along with the table. Albus took the chair Severus occupied, and sat in thought. He couldn't believe that Voldemort had made Severus kill...Only now he understood why Severus would want to turn his ways around...it wasn't easy to kill someone in it's self, but to find out that it was you who had murdered someone you cared for....He narrowed his eyes and knew he would make Voldemort pay dearly.  
  
Dumbledore felt a weight land on his shoulder. "Yes Fawkes, I still am awake..." He turned to the Phoenix and smiled. "Fawkes..time to go to bed is it?" He watched as the bird took to the air ad landed by the door to his bed chambers. "well how can I resist such a comforting idea..." And Albus made his way to bed.  
  
Severus finally made it back to his own chambers, He was grateful for that, He only took his shoes and the long flowing robes off leaving him in the black under suit. He flopped on to his bed, unconscious before he even hit the pillow...that night he dreamed of nothing, thankfully nothing.  
  
  
=:= Well hope you likes this chapter! Chapter 2 is well on it's way it's on my list of things to do!=:= 


	3. Forever a new memory

Hello again readers! well hope you are enjoying this. I am actually enjoying writing this (yay!) Just touching on a point here, the Name Falaliel and Faleil sound the same but they aren't two completely different people here :) so here's the pronunciation key as best as I can make it! "Faleil =Fuh-lee-eel" and "Falaleil =Fal-lah-lee-eel" I have no idea where i got these names, the just sound good ne?  
-well on to the chapter!  
  
  
  
"No I forbid her to go Rion...Albus Dumbledore must NEVER know! I've heard that Harry Potter is being schooled there as well. What if something happens to him? Dumbledore has no notion to what really happened!" Rion Phayrus, sat at the kitchen table and pondered on this for a moment. He sighed and looked at his wife, Serena Meronia Phayrus and stated softly. 'Rena, we have no choice....You've seen the small changes in 'lee..." he stopped and took a deep breath and began again "We should at least attempt to tell her why she seems so different from the rest of the children at school...It's hard to not know that your very different because your an untrained witch. We can't hide the truth forever and you know that...Even your sister has been appearing lately..." At this Serena shot a cold look at him "Which sister Rion? You mean the one that was killed or my only living one?" He closed his eyes and sighed again " Rena it's not easy I know, When I found out it destroyed me as well...it's hard to lose two siblings one to the Death..." Rena snapped "I'm not letting my child be exposed to the wizarding world! Not while she is being haunted! And never mention Adam in this house again Rion..." She angrily wiped her tears away and looked away.  
  
Rion Sighed and seen the pain flash in her eyes. A long time ago Serena and her other two sisters and brother were witches and wizard attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry when the time of "he-who-must-not-be-named" was just beginning to take full force. Her brother Adam, had joined up with the DeathEaters but was caught and sent to Azkaban. Adam had been what was now known as the "masters hand" A deatheater who served Voldemort without question, or hesitation. And Adam with his sense of honor served his master extremely well. Too well, When he was caught Adam had killed at least 8 Aurors,And finally brought down by the Auror Elite Operations team. Unfortunately after his trial. He was sentenced to the Dementor's kiss. Even back then Albus Dumbledore had tried to lessen the sentence. He was one of the Auror's that was in Adam's sights about to be killed. Or so everyone thought...but It was Dumbledore that had managed to stop Adam..  
  
"rena...I'm sorry." was all he could manage. And Serena, only nodded "Rion...do I have to let my baby go so soon?" She asked meekly and Rion only stood to take her in his arms. "rena, you know the answer to that question already." he stated softly as he smoothed her hair.  
  
Faleil Leolina Phayrus, age 11 sat in her room at her desk writing in her thick leather bound journal that her father had given her for her recent birthday. Innocent enough, she never knew that both of her parents were Wizards. Or that the school she was about to attend was to train her to use her magic, not at all aware that she played a part in some unnamable puzzle.   
  
"dear Journal....today is one of my last days here at home, Why? well apparently I've been accepted to this school called Hogwarts. I had no idea that I was going to be going to a boarding school. But later this evening mom and dad said they had something to talk to me about...it's really scary! Did I do something wrong?? But dad said it was a surprise. Magenta (my bestest friend in the whole world) said that I couldn't have...I really hope she's right. Well anyways, this school starts pretty soon. Auntie Suzi said she'd drop by with a gift for me. Though her too said it was a surprise! Well if I do have to go away for school, I hope they allow me to take my journal...I'd be lost without out it!...one thing I wish I could leave at home was the weird black out spells I've been having lately. Once I woke up with mom looking at me strangely. It scared me...I haven't really told anyone but you journal...pleas make them stop somebody, I want to do my best at this school! Well it's almost dinner I have to go and set the table...night!"  
  
Faleil sat back and closed her journal and looked outside. He thoughts were focused on all of this. She was being sent to another school. She had to leave all her friends at Sea Breeze elementary school. But why? Well it wasn't like she wasn't going MISS her old school too much but it was something that she knew how to handle. Of course she knew wouldn't miss the boys picking on her, always pulling her hair ribbon from her ponytail letting her long dark honey colored hair get caught up by the wind. Or when she was writing they snatched her homework and wouldn't give it back. Of course she wouldn't miss any of that...but that unease just stayed. She turned around in her swivel chair and looked at the full length mirror in the corner of her room and said to her reflection " Would this school actually accept me for being so weird?" Her mind answered her in silence. But soon her thoughts told her "well if they don't too bad for them!" She smiled at this and watched as the girl in the mirror smile back. She was already missing her bedroom and she looked at all of her stuffed animals and her collections of books and comic books. She said out loud " I wonder if I can take some of these with me?"   
  
The Phayrus home was quiet this evening. It was unusual for her to hear people not to be talking to each other. She felt the tension as soon as she walked inside the Foyer. "hello? anybody home called out the woman dressed in a very translucent blue robe with an equally translucent violet underneath. "odd..." The woman said as she set her one bag down and looked around again. "Serena? are you home?" she called out and suddenly she heard a soft thump of a pair of feet running followed by " Auntie Suzi!" Suzzett grinned at her niece as she ran down the long staircase and ran up to her. "Hello there kiddo" She said and wrapped her arms around Faleil. "how have you been lee? " her aunt asked pleasantly as she let Faleil guide her in to the kitchen. "mommy, daddy looks who's here!" Bother her parents looked up and Suzzett knew something was wrong. "hey there love birds." she added trying to gloss over the fact that the kid was oblivious to their mood. " So you finally got the letter huh suz..." Her aunt picked up on the sharp edged sarcasm and she answered mildly " yes I did..about time you wrote too...but I'm tired, that trip took more out of me than usual, I must be getting old" and watched as her sisters Serena's face cast a scowl. "Lee why don't you take your aunts bag to her room ok?" Faleil chirped up " ok...auntie? " she tugged on the sleeve of her aunts robe. "is that all you brought? " pointing at her overnight bag. Her aunt winked at her "yup! the show is in the next town over..I thought I pay a visit to you guys then be back there tomorrow evening" And she handed Faleil over her one bag and giggled again. Faleil took it and went back upstairs to put it in the guest room. Suzzett looked back to her sister and her brother in law and added out of earshot of Faleil " So the wizards world wants you back already is it?" And watched as Serena scowled again and mumbled a few salty words. Rion only looked uncomfortable and smiled sheepishly at Suzzett.  
  
"Dinner will be in 10 minutes Rion called out from the kitchen to the three sitting out in the dining room playing a card game that Suzzett had brought. Faleil adored her aunt Suzi. She always wore these prettily colored robes. She knew why her aunt wore them as well, she was a magician and liked to keep an air of mysticism around her. And it worked. Once Suzi had showed her the wand she used as a prop for her show Faleil wanted to hold it and wave it around to see if she could be like her aunt. How Serena was angry with her sister. Faleil had never seen her mom that frightened or angry before. She remembered how she yelled at her aunt. Faleil was told to go to her room by her father before the heated argument turned even worse. Faleil shivered a bit at the memory, she made herself promise that she wouldn't get mommy that mad ever again no matter how curious she was about what her aunt did in the traveling show.   
  
Dinner was a rather formal affair in the house. Faleil's father really enjoyed cooking for his family. Faleil never noticed that he had more than a passion for it. But later that night after dessert the four of them sat around the table talking. Usually when Suzi came to the house, Faleil was told it was bed time. as she stood and headed off to her bedroom her father softly called her by her full name, and not by her nickname"Faleil..please stay at the table, we need to talk to you about something really important. In momentary shock she just stood there and quickly made her way back to her seat. Her father got up and placed three teacups and saucers before himself, and his wife and sister in-law. Faleil was wondering what was going on, usually her father let her have tea as well. She asked him if he wanted her to get her own setting he told her "No,pumpkin stay there...I'll get it" And he did...though not the way She was expecting him to. He pulled out a rather pretty looking stick. It looked much like what suzi had for her show but it was much longer and appeared to be made of a lustrous deep reddish wood. But It wasn't the stick that caught her by surprise. It was the word that her father spoke "accio tea cup. Accio saucer!" And Faleil's eyes just stared dumbfoudedly at her father.   
  
They all watched her and suddenly she became self conscious and quickly bowed her head but she looked up again and stammered out "h HOW did you do that??" she asked softly, hiding her bewilderment and shock. Her mother came behind her and placed a hand on her daughters shoulder "sweetie...we are what you would call witches...We can use magic anytime we want." Her father just sat there looking a little guilty and he spoke, his voice deep with emotion. "Lee...that's why your not able to fit in at your school, it's because you are different. Oh not physically but you come from a long family of witches, you see..." Faleil, not knowing how to react merely said in a shaking voice "You knew? You knew I was a witch, yet you never told me! why!" She asked with a sudden fury, unaware that tears streamed down her face.  
  
Her aunt just sat and looked at her somberly "Faleil...the reason that you were never told was..." Her aunt looked at her sister and brother in-law and swallowed, knowing far too well that this story wasn't going to be told so easily to Faleil. She relaxed a little when they both nodded in agreement but stayed silent. "Was because something terrible had happened to an aunt that you never knew you had." Wiping her eyes she only looked at her in confusion "Another aunt?" Suzzett nodded "Yes...Her name was Falaliel...and we all had gone to the same school your about to go to. But ...during our school days, there was a wizard called Voldemort..." And so instead of glossing over everything important, she told her niece everything about the dark lord Voldemort. and that when she did go she must never say his name out loud but use "You-know-who" instead. Faleil listened intently. She never could have dreamed up any of this in her wildest dreams, but the knowledge was comforting, all these years she was in the habit of thinking that she was incredibly weird and felt she didn't belong. It was a new chapter in her young life and she wasn't about to waste this once in a lifetime chance to feel as if she really belonged. And only two days away till she was suppose to get on the Hogwart's Express. How this was going to be so exciting!   
  
It was too exciting...Faleil felt that familiar sudden sleepiness as her eyelids dropped She didn't even have time to register that it was another one of her blackout spells, her last thought before her consciousness slipped was "no, why now...now I can't go!" and nothing at all.  
  
Suzzett watched the young girl suddenly drop off to sleep and this alarmed her immensely quickly she rose and so did the other two. But suddenly faleil's eyes opened and they swept across the room as if to get their bearings and soon they focused on her. Suzzett shivered as if the temperature suddenly dropped , she recognized this as a form of channeling and she spoke to the spirit who was using the girls body "Who are you..." she hissed and the spirit smiled "I'd thought you'd all be glade to hear from me...after all I was called yes?" Serena gasped out "Your dead Falaeil...you shouldn't be here!" the spirit sighed "Rena, relax...I" She quickly swallowed what she was about to say first and started again ' I was only wishing to see how you all were doing, I didn't mean any harm." Suzzett interjected "You picked a fine time spirit...You do know that this child is on her way to Hogwarts." Serena snapped "Shut up suzi she doesn't need to know that!" Again the spirit sighed ' No it's alright Serena, Actually I did only want to see how the family was getting along..." Her eyes swept over towards Rion " Rion Phayrus? What are you doing here? " she choked out and gasped " I thought you and..." In confusion she shook her head " I'm sorry...I was getting off track. But as I said I was only wanting to visit...Unfortunately we dead always fade from the other world because, because our death day is much stronger than any other day " they watched the spirit wince and suddenly walk around for the first time since she inhabited her nieces body.   
  
"Serena...Suzzett, I know this was the last thing you would expect to see. But I assure you We are only granted this only once, " The spirit winced again as if in pain. "and unfortunately I couldn't hide from it this year...You wouldn't believe how meticulous it is here..." Suddenly Serena shouted " Give me my daughter back Falaleil! Leave us be your dead! go live in the neither worlds!" And the spirit looked hurt. " I'm sorry...I just thought you'd be glad to see me.." Suzzett spoke up again "rena, it's only Falaeil...our sister that is gone. Let's enjoy the minutes we have. ok?" She turned to the disheartened spirit. " lee your not able to come back to us like this again...are you?" The spirit shook her head. " No, I died terribly yes but this is once only...it's been awhile I know. But in an hour I will return and everything will be as it was." Serna just stared at her daughter who was host for her dead sisters spirit " You won't follow faleil...to Hogwarts will you?" she asked suddenly suspicious and watched as the spirit but her head to one side as if in question "please? Whose faleil? " Rion spoke gently " The childs body your inhabiting right now...our daughter, Serna's and my child." "oh...i'm sorry Rion...I didn't know." She bowed her head and sighed " It seems as if I've caused more pain than actual joy I've always seemed to do that when I was living." Rion only raised an eyebrow " lee...how did you die? I know it's the wrong question to ask. But..." She smiled " Still the same as usual eh Rion? Well if you must know I died by...by" And they watched as suddenly the spirit gasped and clutched the area over her heart and sank to the floor. Rion was close enough to catch his Daughters body. He heard the spirit whisper softly " I-I guess my time is up...it's just my spirit re living my death...i'm sorry your girl, she will be....ok" And the spirit of Falaleil seemed to vanish. Returning once again their daughter, faleil.  
  
Still unconscious Her father put her in her own bed and looked at his wife, who was still pale from the experience and shock. "Rena, are you alight love?" She nodded. Suzi said she would stay with her till she wakes up. She also said that we need to get some rest. as well...just like suzi to take control of any situation. He only nodded and embraced his wife and pulled her close to him, giving her the comfort she needed. Pretty soon he guided her to their own chambers. They passed by Suzzi who waited patiently Rion spoke. "you'll be taking her to Diagon Alley in the morning right? I'm sorry but you know why we cannot go...there" And he handed Suzi the little key to their family vault in gringotts. "Yes, I know Rion and it's alright. Some might recognize you, other might not. I've been known as the only remaining family member to visit Diagon Alley. But Don't worry I'll take care of everything ok? You two go and rest, it's been quite an evening for us all." And with a swish of robes she walked in to Faleil's room and seated herself by her bedside. Rion watched and slowly closed the door taking his wife and easily picking her up, carrying her down to their own rooms.  
  
  
Faleil dreamed about a strange place it was empty and quiet. As she looked around there wasn't that much to see. She waited not knowing what to do next when suddenly she heard off to her left "You are right on time my dear...this way." And felt herself being pulled. She opened her mouth to protest but nothing came out, or the man never heard her. She was frightened but couldn't help her growing curiosity. She was lead to what appeared to be a store room and was ushered inside quickly. The man only spoke softly "Your boyfriend is inside the other room waiting for you,so let him see you before he dies." The voice sounded cold and papery thin. She felt her legs carry her in to the even darker room. She felt her arm move mechanically in to her sleeve and she pulled out a stick. A moment later it glowed to life a bright clear blue. What she saw was frightening, People in black cloaks and wearing masks. She didn't have time to run as they all leapt on her in an ambush and was holding her down. In her dream she screamed.  
  
She woke with a start, she didn't know if she had screamed out loud. but she turned her head and seen her Aunt asleep sitting in a chair next to her. She sat up and wondered what happened. She remembered her aunt telling her of the wizarding world, but after that nothing. she thought to herself "well at least I didn't wake up suzi..." Yawning and stretching she pushed back the covers. The bed creaked a little and Suzi's head snapped up " Hey there kiddo..your awake, how you feel?" Faleil answered "I'm ok...but what happened?" Her aunt blushed " Well you fainted. I think that was my fault...too much wizarding information all at once. But to make up for it I got a surprise for you.." She smiled at the apprehension of her nieces face " No I assure it's a good surprise. It's called Diagon Alley...it's where we need to go get your school supplies. A little late, but better than never right?" Faleil giggled. "yeah much better! will mom and dad be joining us?" Suzi shook her head "i'm afraid not. Remember what I said happened to the family? your Other aunt getting killed? Well it has to do with that. You see Our family was known for producing rather good Aurors, and well they don't want to get wrapped up in Ministry business. The ministry wants to make us out to be hero icons or something. " Faleil just looked puzzled again "should I go to Hogwarts then? I mean..." Suzi cut her off " No lee...go that only affects your mother and myself. Well not so much as myself anymore because I insisted that I would melt the statue myself if they ever made one. So they respected the wishes, your mom knows they would goad her in to that circus and she's rather taken to living like a muggle now days. She took Your late Aunt's death pretty hard, she was the baby of the family after all...oh dear hurry and get dressed we have a long day and so little time!"  
  
She watched as her aunt got up and made her way out of her room. Faleil got up and showered and dressed. She wasn't sure how one was suppose to dress in the wizarding world but she hoped she would be accepted. "today is going to a very long journal entry" she thought to herself and headed off to the bathroom.  
  
Downstairs Once again the three of them sat around the table. Serena was looking more exhausted than usual. Suzi knew that she was tossing and turning all night. She looked at Rion who faired only a little better. He had taken a sleeping draught to be a stronger pillar of strength for his wife. "good morning you love birds" Suzi said softly and smiled. Even after all these years, It was hard to see Rion and not reminisce about their short romance. Sometimes Suzi was jealous but it was fading each time she saw them together. Rion smiled back and nodded "How is she?" Suzi only added " No ill effects, she doesn't remember what happened either. a good thing none the less." He nodded and took his wife's hand and squeezed gently "What shall I prepare for breakfast?" Rion asked almost gleefully and Suzi Laughed. "still the early bird are we?" she joked and said " I'll have your waffles, Those I missed terribly!" Rion said with a wink " waffle breakfast it is!" and he began by making coffee appear "energy for my two beautiful victims...err taste testers!" he laughed and watched as his wife and Sister in law looked at him, each with an eyebrow raised "Don't do that you two...it makes me nervous" He teased and began working on the breakfast.  
  
That morning was one of the most memorable ones that everyone had,and could remember. Aside from Faleil not knowing what happened the evening before. The other three smiled and silently reminisced about the fallen sister, they actually smiled more than they normaly did. It was just too joyus a day not too. Soon Faleil and Suzi left. And Serena looked at Rion "Love...It's hard to let everything go. But I think I can do it now...Lee is only following fate, And that visit from Falaleil, it was hard at first but Suzi was right...I do miss her terribly." Rion took hold of her hand and lead her out to the sun deck and heald her closely "I am here for you my love. You, never forget that..." And he kissed her passionatly.  
  
::-well hope you enjoyed this chapter, Next one coming soon!  
How sweet and touching huh? Had to change the pace just a wee bit...I do have a romantic side ya know *S*-:: 


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